Happy Birthday

Three years ago,

your birthday present was something else

you took to me an island paradise no less

and gave me hell

There in a state of ecstasy, of having been whisked away

by my man, yes you were my man-

you chickened out on me

turned away from me for good, maybe

You said you couldn’t take it anymore

that you had to leave these shores

that you had to leave me

So you did

and my birthdays haven’t been the same ever since

Only because in the dread of its imminence

I go through lengths farther than you’ve ever been

to run from me, from us , from you

to survive the memory of that day, of you

You were my victory, you see

a love I have built with scarred caloused hands

and a zombie heart on stands

but I fixed myself by letting me love you

and ended up letting you love me less

But like your birthday present, you were something else

You lingered like your great predecessor

the one you beat with your hardcore

laugh and your smile that can kill the devil

and raise the dead,

the dead like me.

Yes, you lingered on, you stayed

in my head, in my double-dead

heart, you lingered more and more

your ghost knocking on my door

twenty four


And I tried to shoo you away believe me

I tried to dismantle your image in my brain

and reassemble my bane, a monster of pain

But I remember your sobs like I remembered mine

I remember your eyes flooded, your fingers entwined

clasping for something, something I’ve seen and felt

that you haven’t yet-

perhaps until now.

Three years later,

I’m here

with you

in the city you ran away to

hide from me

from us

from you.


on my birthday

with you, my birthday present.

taking me to dinner

and a movie

like how we used to be.

And my first real date

in a thousand days

since you left me.

“Take care” you said


“And be good”

I’m always good, I say.



You don’t have to say it.

Happy birthday-

to us.