November 10, 2008
Russ Raniel Amo Ligtas
Hell's Pit no. 3, Hive Office
Tipolo, Mandaue City
Dear Mr. Ligtas:
We at the House on Three Legs have formally recieved the news that your status as sort-of-single has changed to mister-ress. It is thus with great pleasure that we welcome you as our newest addition to the organization, raising the number of members to three (3).
The House on Three Legs is a secret organization of mistresses and mister-resses aimed at exploring the mechanisms of concubinage and infidelity, and therefore requires its experience.
With this automatic membership, please refer to the following for the primary world parameters upon which our organization revolves:
1) Romantic relationship going on is not absolute
2) There is NO romantic relationship (wink wink)
3) Dates and meetings are dependent upon the schedule of primary couple, therefore, incidence of long waits for the mistress / mister-ress shall be high.
4) Frequency of inconspicuously romantic messages such as "asa ka" and "haaay" shall be expected;
5) As well as sudden change of plans, stemming from boyfriend or girlfriend alerts.
As a member of the organization, you are assured of a reliable support system which will aid you through this challenging feat of concubinage. We are also closely linked with the New Order of Professional Laughing Wrecks -- lessons in life, love, people, concubinage and beer are assured. For additional details, queries, fits of hysterical crying and ranting and other things that you feel you simply must discuss with us, please feel free to contact the undersigned.
We hope you enjoy your membership in the House on Three Legs. And remember -- they can't be walking on stilts forever!
Vera Leigh Calapre Lasam
Charisse Mari Suello Fonacier