"Remember, I'm not here"

Just like what Emil told me "He's one of my regulars, but he never does it with me, he always takes me when he's found another guy. Usually they look the same, or talk the same, like he's casting a movie- and you my friend, have the nose" " and yeah we're supposed to not think he's here when we do it". Emil and I start to kiss, our customer in the dark, his suki. I felt nervous, I was going to to do it with him, something I've secretly wished for after we did it the first time when we met. I've always liked Emil and I thought he was a fine person, too fine to be in this business even. He's tall and lean with the softest hair that waved like my mothers, but softer, much much softer- like a baby's. He's been doing this for 2 years now, standing in the streets, waiting to be picked up. He doesn't have a pimp, never went through one. Now, he has regular customers, he just waits for them to call. Sometimes they cancel and he has to go out and do the old process.

"Ok ra ka bai?"

I met Emil almost a year ago. I was drunk and I had strayed off the street a bit when all of a sudden somebody pulled my wrist with the strongest, quickest tug. He had saved me for being sideswept. I took him home that night though he did most of the bringing, I was grinning the whole time giving directions to the cab driver. A left turn here, and a right- "dire lang mi nong". The shortest-longest cab ride. I took him to my room, locked the door and took his clothes off. We talked the morning after and we've been friends ever since. Three months later, I had run away from home. I had come to him asking for help, having no money and still in college. I had no plans of stopping, I needed a quick and easy "fun" night job.He gave me a generous number of suki's he could no longer service in a "work" cycle, brought me to almost half of his regulars, and sold me like he was selling the latest bmw, telling them why they should pick me over him.

"I guess there's always a part 2 to everything" he snickers.

My heart skips a beat, then rumbles into a drumroll. I wasn't expecting this to happen. I thought he'd called me up here to refer to me another customer. Turns out, it was this guy. A small fellow, shorter than me. I realized we had the same nose when he turned his head, revealing the profile. He didn't seem to look like one who needed our services. He had a shy look in his eyes that disappeared when Emil talked to him. I guess that's natural, they've known each other for a while now. I only exchanged a few words with him, his voice was small and had a trembling when he spoke. His name: Rufus, the first one I've met. Emil would tell me weeks after that Rufus didn't find a guy that night and asked for his help. For some reason, I didn't like the way he looked at Emil, like a searching, anguished look.

"I know someone who has your nose"

I received Emil's call 2 hours ago and now I'm surprised I'm not in any way uncomfortable with the invisible audience of one. I am making love with Emil, this is the only thing that's happening. He smiles at me, pushing my leg up. I look at him and wonder if he knows that this is not business for me. We've been at it for a good thirty minutes now and he's starting to prep me up, kissing me everytime he adds a finger. I think of myself a snake with my body, moving, responding to every inch of skin and bone he places inside me. He kisses me, three fingers now. I grab his hair and knead it with my palms. He turns me over and lies on top of me, kissing my nape, raising every hair. The room burns cold but his breath radiates a comforting heat. Everywhere he plants it, a fire ignites- this time, between my neck and my right shoulder.

"I want you in now"

He giggles. I smile, pleased with myself for amusing him. He slides inside perfectly, I close my eyes, willing every part of my body to feel him. His chest on my back, his arms framing my chest, his hands on my shoulders, his toes touching mine. I try to remember the smell of it all, everything, the scent of this moment. I take pictures in my head. I take two of the view of the city from the window, beaming with me, happy that I am happy.Three of the fireworks pattern on the sheets celebrating with my body. One of his hand on the pillow before disappearing towards my shoulder. Emil continues like the pro that he is and turns me over again, I see his face. He winks at me. I giggle. I would feel stupid about that the morning after. I must have looked like a real fag. He enters me again, I close my eyes, leaving my neck to turn my head wherever it wishes. I wet my lips with a swipe of my tongue and open my eyes again. I realize I am facing our client, his eyes glistening with the light from the windows. Save from some strands of his hair flickering red, only his eyes are keeping him in the room. I notice a spark from the corner of his left eye, it trickles down ever so slowly. I take a picture of it.

*note to reader: This is a work of fiction.