Conversation in my head Part 1

Finally, a new post. Without photos this time. I've been oddly busy these days-before and after I went to Camotes Island- thus the blogging hiatus. My mouth is filled to the brim, it is ready to vomit anything and everything, but what does one get from a splatter of stomach juice and little bits and pieces of breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Nada. Absolutely nothing but the relief that comes with the act of vomiting.

No, I will not talk about Pacquiao although I'm glad he's still in there, in that ring with that giant belt. I'd have to drop Myanmar as well to give room to doing something about it rather than just yakking around. I have a performance tomorrow in our little Istambay for Myanmar activity at UP. And matters of my professional and love life are beginning to get just a little bit blurry once again. So what to write about?

Well, here's this. Yesterday, I was a riding a jeepney home. For some odd reason, I had the hankering to listen to Wanderlust. I looked for it in my playlist and satisfied the urged. The last two lines of the song goes like this: relentlessly restless...restless relentlessly...can you spot a pattern? Can you?

With that, inside that jeep, amongst traffic, I finally realize, there is none. To my life, that is. Cosmic moment. Since my early awakenings I've tried to organize state. I've built structures both self-conjured or adopted and I've tried to live as close to and according to these structures as I could. In a span of four to seven years, they've grown into a form I can no longer recognize. Like a living sculpture, harrowing and delightful at the same time, full of possibility and uncertainty. And in that seat next to the woman next to the driver, I felt a sense of gratitude towards myself and nature. I was thankful that there was no pattern and that my days would have to be as unique as each sky in sunrise or sunset. That where I am is a specific spot in our tiny dent across the time-space continuum. I wouldn't have to look out and think too much of what's out there but only be with what's actually happening. And what is happening? Speed Levitch can answer that: