First of all, no it's not my birthday. Reasons for this post will remain unknown unless author is asked personally.
I hereby declare the day you read this post the BE RUSS at 22 DAY. On this day you shall do at least two of the 22 things on the list in celebration of the existence of Russ while he was 22 years old on this good earth. If you fail to do so, you shall be cursed with bad fortune on the same day of the succeeding years until your final departure.
1. DO a cartwheel on an empty sidewalk at night. Visualize pixie dust falling off your pockets.
2. Watch Soderbergh's BUBBLE or Lynne Ramsay's Ratcatcher ...alone.
3. Read Murakami's A Wild Sheep Chase. Approximate to finish around 4 am.
4. Scoop unsweetened peanut butter with the tip of a teaspoon. top with m&m's (preferably dark). stick spoon in mouth like a thermometer with closed eyes.
5. Pomelo with salt. Chew entire sections of flesh at a time with closed eyes.
6. Take a plastic chair into your bathroom. Place right under showerhead. Sit on chair. Turn on shower. Sing.
7. Get a partner. brush/clean teeth. Mouthwash. Turn off lights. french kiss.
8. Get a partner (recently bathed). Get ice cream(your choice of flavor). Top on preferred parts. Indulge
9. Read aloud Sylvia Plath's "The moon and the yew tree". Look at self in mirror for about 5 minutes.
10. Invite a friend over. Situate friend in your room with computer by herself (if friend is female) , offer free unlimited use of internet connection. Let sit and wait til friend is precoccupied. Enter room without noise and without being noticed. SHOUT in her ears. Laugh.
11. Find an unfamiliar spot in your room/house. Place plastic chair on chosen spot. Stand on chair. Enjoy view.
12. Early in the evening, invite friend over (preferably the loudest in your circle). Wait til 3am. leave for 24 hour Mcdonald's or any other fastfood place available. Talk.
13. Invite mother over into your room/ house. Put on previously watched suspense/heavy drama or avant garde/ art house film. Sit nearby. Observe.
14. Call dog. Wait til dog is settled. Read aloud Pick a Pixie or any other children's book til dog is asleep.
15. Lock doors. Close windows. Go to youtube.com , type "generous palmstroke" in searchbox. Click Bjork - Generous Palmstroke (LIVE @ ROYAL OPERA HOUSE). Breathe as silently as possible.
16. Lock doors. Close windows. Go to youtube.com , type "pagan poetry" in searchbox. Click Bjork- Pagan Poetry. No blinking.
17. Put on any Bjork album. Dance and sing along or sit and listen.
18. Cook rice and scrambled eggs. Fry some dried fish (small ones). Slice fresh, plump tomatoes. Put iced water in big pitcher. Eat with hands. Drink from pitcher.
19. Google complete name. Click on every result. Read.
21. Invite friend over. Upon arrival, leave to buy food, drinks, and a dvd (preferably with crazy english subtitles). Watch film with displayed subtitles. Eat, drink, and be merry.
22. Lock room. Switch on aircon. Undress. Pick favorite blanket and pillow. Settle in bed. Dream.